less story, life more

Friday, 2 January 2015

You are never over

Before I start the retrieve of every intense moment happened in 2014, i just wanna say - I've been through a lot for my life in 2014. 

All the decisions made considered neither right or wrong, but i seem to have many things gone wrong. 

I'm writing this with a heavy heart, though elaboration is difficult to sum up everything at once.  I saw there are a lot of facebook friends shared what they've done in 2014 in a  very simple numbered list. But i asking myself many times - life ain't just about the achievements , isn't it?  

When you try to recall something it is rewarding, do you notice there's possibility of missing out on something to bring you happiness? 

The utmost saddest moment to recall is about my father's death on  March 2014 due to a sudden heart attack. The few days before his death, both of us had the most ever unhappy conversation and that is the first time we were in quarrel.

Things always happen in dramatic way. Without using his real account, he texted me with a very long sentences  in smartphone, pretended one of my siblings to ask me for apologize in such matter. One of the long sentences is , " Don't you know how much to feel the pain to hear your unfriendly voice to shout at him? Your father has always been there as a supportive backbone to our family."

I chose to ignore the message after read it, blamed father for not understanding my situation. I've been thinking many time to phone him just to say a "sorry" , but i didn't make it happen because i didn't think i'm wrong.

In the end ,my resentment and the stubborn nature brought me the endless feeling of regret.

The decision to be an intern in Allianz Malaysia Berhad and a front-line worker in a five star hotel of Redang island  leading to the biggest impact in my life.

Instead of just loving the EDM  in the night club scene in the past, I am now truly obsessed with the sea to the level of dreaming to be a part-time professional diver in future. Previously , i never know about the sea. I used to afraid how does the sun burn people on the beach but now....I'm NOT, I can go to sea anytime without the sun block. Well, i don't like polluted sea like Port Dickson!

A new idea was added to my to-do list : working as a paid-volunteer in a non-profit organisation in the future.

During the time of working at Redang ,I had the first affair with a man that caused the difficulties in my existing relationship with FatBoy. We were closer to the edge of break up, but finally i decided to keep my faith in the relationship with FatBoy after figuring out what is "love". Now I am more determined to hold the relationship to the end of the world after experiencing the most bad situation which is usually faced by many couples nowadays. 

From a finance-degree student to a media student. Exposing myself to the nature increases self-confidence and perseverance. You gotta know many things can be out of expectation especially when you are snorkeling or diving in a site like paradise. hahaha......

I also had the biggest try to be a "model" in a competition organized by a club during the first semester enrolled  in my university on 18 June 2014.  I contributed my ever first time performance of playing guitar to this event. Besides, i was shortlisted to be the 20 (?)with other participants of Fashion Music Malaysia Model Search but i gave up to attend the interview.

The first time i received a ring from a guy in my entired life. lol Im not showing off, as this is one of the most significant things happened in 2014. I captured this photo at the first time we went to Langkawi for a short getaway from a busy city with the AirAsia flight. It becomes a must-wear-thing everyday! This absolutely makes a remark daily to myself as to remember how he is accompanying me along the way i wanted to do anything i want.

Finding coffee stuff, buying a smartphone,  cooking something special.....Don't say this is what a man is supposed to do, if he does , this is only when how much he cares for you. 

If only i would mention the names besides the FatBoy,there are also two person brighten up my university's life in 2014 which i could never forget in the rest of my life. Brother Hong and Kian.  They carried the most important role to cheer me up most of the time while i getting upset easily over small things. I am kind of eccentric girl but they are super-hyperactive guys! Hahahahaha.

Both of them supported me mentally,physically and financially regardless of asking to return anything. :')

Upon starting my life as a degree student , i also work as a part time tutor in week days to cover the cost of living. Just because of this reason, i must find a balance between work,play and study.

What I realized is THEY are never over, all of them carrying me forward to another step, in 2015.



  1. Your chinese version sibeh short.

    1. Because difficult to explain in chinese sometimes, it depends on mood to blog something in english or chinese. ><

  2. haha i understand la.

    Anyway, your photos in this post look very nice. i like =)